Helping Kids Engage with Diverse Cultures (when you live in less-than-diverse geographical area)

Reflecting on raising children in an environment that might not be as diverse as one would like.

I’m Mel, the founder of Piccoline, and I split my time between my home city of Chicago and Swansea, Wales. I was lucky enough to fall in love with, and recently marry, a pretty fantastic human from the UK named Liam. We’re super happy and I love this country. It’s gorgeous, the people are nice, and the weather is temperate (except for this week…).

However.

It is 94.4% white.

(The whole of the UK is more diverse, but I’m specifically referring to Wales).

So I’ve really been thinking lately about how to go about raising kids to appreciate, respect, and engage equally with diverse cultures in a geographical area which makes that challenging. Here are some things I’ve come up with:

Explore worlds on a page.

From the time you welcome your child into your home, seek out books which highlight different races, religions, identities, etc. Turn a critical eye to your child’s book

shelf, and consider whether those books are having a positive effect. If not, dump them, and grab some great reads that will encourage your children to think about and feel empathy for others. If you need a place to start, here is a list we LOVE:

http://hereweeread.com/2019/11/the-2020-ultimate-list-of-diverse-childrens-books.html

Stand up for what’s right.

If your child hears something racist, misogynistic, ableist, etc- SPEAK UP! You don’t have to go confronting every stranger who passes by, but take the time to explain to your child (even your toddler!) that you’re upset about a comment or action. Get down on their level and reinforce your family’s ethics and ideals, and explain WHY that comment or action doesn’t align with them.

Don’t shame your child for curiosity or cultural mistakes.

I was a nanny right after the 2009 inauguration. I took a 2 year old from a white family to a shopping center, where in one of the stores, a Black sales associate was working. He approached us and asked “Do you need any help finding anything?” to which the tiny human next to me responded “Hi, Obama!”. I was mortified. MORT-I-FIED. But I got down on her level, and said “Yes, you’ve seen a lot of Obama this week. He’s the president. This isn’t Obama, but why don’t we ask him his name? (he was incredibly gracious and replied). Jacob works here in this store! People have lots of different skin colors, and we’re going to go home and learn more about that”. I could have just walked away and never said anything to her about it again, but it was a moment to address it head on, and teach rather than shame.

Watch your language.

Don’t speak in ways which stereotype or belittle others. Consider the language that you use on a daily basis. Is it compassionate? Is it inclusive? If not, it’s time to change your language and model empathetic behavior.

And while we’re on the subject of empathy, don’t fall into the common trap of equating empathy to pity. If your child sees a person without a home, don’t use degrading language to discuss them, or talk yourself up for giving them a dollar. Show empathy through kindness, and discuss topics honestly, openly, and in a way which not only provides insight, but which normalizes challenging discussions. This will allow your child to feel free to ask you about various people, cultures, and abilities.

Immerse yourself

Spend a week learning about d/Deaf Culture. Go to a play/watch a movie with a diverse cast. Take them to a different religious service. If you travel, spend a day outside of tourist areas and explore the local culture. Try a new food each Friday, and teach them about its country of origin. Volunteer with an organization that works with people with disabilities. There are lots of ways you can encourage your children’s curiosity and knowledge.

Follow awesome and inclusive people

There are many fantastic people, groups, and organizations which can provide you with resources. At Piccoline, our current favorites are @antiracismdaily and @theconsciouskid, but we encourage you to seek resources that work for you.

BOTTOM LINE: As a parent, being in a geographical area which lacks diversity can be challenging. Make sure that you’re seeking out new ways to explore and engage with all people, not just the ones physically around you.